St. Christopher's Satire

January 2024 Headlines

Transcripted dialogue from Mr. Lecky during conversation scores 100% in AI test
Opinion: $500k or Dinner with Captain Worrell?
Class of 2024 not Mad, Just Disappointed by Lack of Senior Surprises
The Pine Needle has a Bright Future
History in the Making: Freshman Joins a Club
House Rep Predicted to Be a Useful Position by 2030
Hieroglyphic Changes Name to Hieroglypic in Stylish Rebrand
“I’m Finally Free to Tell my Story” - Jack Slokker’s Return from Family Guy Rehabilitation
Heartbreaking: Coach Keith put into Coma after Shorts Cut Off Blood Circulation
Self-Improvement Club Fires Flik Staff, Protein Shakes to Replace Food Offering
Behind the Ferns: Chad Chafee Releases Shocking Exposé on Jack Nelson ’24 and George Dewey White’s ’24 Showbiz Malpractice
PAC to Collaborate with History Club in “life-changing” January 6th Reenactment